I always find Kate Elwood's columns for The Daily Yomiuri enlightening in how they expose cultural differences between Americans and the Japanese. Here's another:
In the case in Japan, often what is being offered is a nice present, which is perfectly enjoyable to receive. Yet in this case as well, I am too quick on the draw and may appear unbecomingly eager, as my hands of their own accord stretch out toward the gift when they ought to be rising up in a gesture of unpresumptuous preliminary negation. Sometimes my hands and mouth work simultaneously, but to opposite purposes, as I politely dilly-dally verbally even as I unequivocally seize the package.
Such behavior makes me feel uncomfortably childish but it's hard to completely break cultural patterns of response. In the case of sales pitches and other similar requests, it can be additionally problematic. It seems ill-mannered to say no after taking possession of goods that have been offered, yet even more churlish to try to give back what I have more or less willingly accepted, or at least what my hands appear to have accepted on my behalf. And, of course, my hands are at this point occupied holding on to whatever it is that I have now acquired, and are no longer free to make a hand gesture, an often essential communicative element in the act of refusal.
The hand fan corresponds to the function of a "no" head shake, and without it, or something similar, a refusal may be overlooked. Applied linguist Nicholas Jungheim made a study of refusals in the cartoon Sazae-san and role plays performed by native Japanese speakers. He found that all of the refusals of offers in his data included hand gestures. Jungheim further notes that when he refused an offer using the standard phrase for declining, kekko desu, without an accompanying gesture of refusal, the offered thing was pressed upon him nonetheless, pointing to the need for the gesture to complete the act of turning down an offer.
Taking a different tack, Jungheim showed Japanese students and non-Japanese students a variety of short video clips, with the sound removed, of human characters and characters from Sazae-san, including one clip that used a hand-fan gesture. The participants were asked what the speaker in each clip was saying. Although the non-Japanese students had lived in Japan between eight months and a year, and had studied Japanese for six months to four years before coming to the country, most failed to interpret the meaning of the refusal gesture correctly. On the other hand, the Japanese respondents were able to do so.
In fact, as with bowing, after living in Japan for 28 years I am quite used to making hand gestures of negation or refusal, and even find myself performing them sometimes when speaking in English. Nevertheless, when something is actually thrust at me, the "receive what's offered" mode overrides this subsequently learned behavior every time. In my recent case, unfortunately already cradling the probiotic drinks, I nonetheless attempted to refuse the request for the home delivery service. Theoretically, on these occasions it should help that I am in my particular area of research, which allows me access to knowledge about ways to accomplish various speech acts, and even to welcome fiddly situations as a chance to learn more about the application of communication techniques.
Applied linguists Leslie Beebe, Tomoko Takahashi and Robin Uliss-Weltz, as well as other researchers of refusals, have pointed to a variety of linguistic strategies used in turning down offers, suggestions, requests, invitations and so on, including giving a reason, proposing an alternative, promising future acceptance, making a statement of principle or philosophy, and avoidance. Research suggests that while both American and Japanese people may give reasons for refusals, American explanations tend to be more detailed while Japanese ones are vaguer. On the other hand, statements of principle or philosophy are somewhat more common in Japan.
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