Polite Lies

I stumbled upon Kyoko Mori’s memoir/essay collection Polite Lies. I was curious about what observations she had to make about being a woman who was raised in Japan and grew into adulthood in the American Midwest. She discusses different aspects of the two cultures and her experiences in different chapters under headings like: Language, Family, Secrets, rituals, a Woman’s Place, bodies, Symbols, School, Tears, Lies, Safety, and Home. Some of the observations seem like broad generalizations and others seem to be heavily influenced by very unhappy childhood where her mother committed suicide when she was just a girl and had to endure an abusive and unloving father who may have been a sociopath. It is a very sad story and a very personal story, but it colors her perceptions very much. However, her criticism has some common critiques of the two cultures. She finds the Japanese language vague and constrictive-a common complaint of the rigid social structure of the society where everybody belongs but no one is allowed to be himself or herself. She finds well-meaning Americans intrusive. An interesting personal look at the two cultures, but not a great overview.