I stumbled upon Kyoko Mori’s memoir/essay collection Polite
Lies. I was curious about what observations she had to make about being a woman
who was raised in Japan and grew into adulthood in the American Midwest. She
discusses different aspects of the two cultures and her experiences in
different chapters under headings like: Language, Family, Secrets, rituals, a
Woman’s Place, bodies, Symbols, School, Tears, Lies, Safety, and Home. Some of
the observations seem like broad generalizations and others seem to be heavily
influenced by very unhappy childhood where her mother committed suicide when
she was just a girl and had to endure an abusive and unloving father who may
have been a sociopath. It is a very sad story and a very personal story, but it
colors her perceptions very much. However, her criticism has some common
critiques of the two cultures. She finds the Japanese language vague and
constrictive-a common complaint of the rigid social structure of the society
where everybody belongs but no one is allowed to be himself or herself. She
finds well-meaning Americans intrusive. An interesting personal look at the two
cultures, but not a great overview.
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