Cultural Referee

Kate Elwood's latest Cultural Conundrums column in The Daily Yomiuri is about mediating cultural misunderstanding like this:

The other day, I had an experience that reminded me of this type of episode. I was at a Japanese traditional restaurant for dinner with some colleagues to celebrate the successful completion of a project. Suddenly, the manager of the restaurant, a middle-aged woman in a kimono, urgently inquired, "Is there an English speaker in the house?" Well, actually, those were not her precise words, but the upshot was that she was having a problem with a foreign customer and wanted me to sort it out. Another colleague, a Japanese man, came along with me, perhaps out of curiosity, perhaps because he thought it might be a situation requiring the expertise of two English speakers.

It turned out that the customer had finished eating and was in the process of paying his bill. However, he objected to one item he was being charged for. This was the tsukidashi, an appetizer. As is the custom in Japan, it had been brought along with the beer the man had ordered. In some restaurants and pubs, this appetizer may be included in the price of the beer or other drink, but in others, especially if the appetizer is somewhat elaborate, a separate payment will be expected. In this particular restaurant, the appetizer was gorgeous and the cost for it was rather high.

In fact, both sides of the dispute had enough knowledge of the other's language to comprehend the basic situation. The customer asserted that he had not ordered the appetizer and had not been told when it was brought to him that he would be charged extra for it. The manager pointed out that he had not asked anything about it and had in fact eaten it. The customer then countered that it was unethical to not be up-front about costs, and explained that, not knowing about the appetizer, he had ordered a separate fish dish "to be nice."

As they spoke indignantly, both parties looked at me and my colleague, and as I translated what each said for the benefit of the other, they nodded in irritation. I had thought I had been summoned for language support but that was not really needed. Each side wanted me to agree that their viewpoint was the more reasonable one and to help convince the other of the rightness of their opinion. The manager and customer were each comfortable their moral outrage. Perched on the fence and seeing both points of view, I was the awkward one. This was suddenly seeming a lot trickier than preventing someone from choking.

My colleague made an admirable stab, I thought, at trying to enable the customer to see the charge for the appetizer not as a pernicious attempt to deprive him of his money through unfair means but rather as a normal fee that might apply in the customer's own country, by asking him to view it as a table charge. This might have worked if it had been translated as such right from the start, but the man knew it was not really a table charge and rejected this invitation to shift perspective.

We were all getting a bit weary and I thought longingly of my own nice food and beer waiting for me back with my other colleagues. Both sides were unwilling to admit that their position was wrong or at least not the only way to look at the situation. But they did finally agree to a compromise of the customer paying half of the charge for the appetizer. Whew! My stint at refereeing the cultural clash in progress was at an end. My colleague and I returned to our own table.

***

When I told some other colleagues about the tsukidashi incident, one of them said that when he went out with non-Japanese he translated tsukidashi as an "obligatory delicacy." This phrase has a nice ring to it. And the fascinating concept of mandated delicious tidbits seems like a useful and positive approach to all cultural conundrums. Approaching a different culture, there are things we must deal with--they are obligatory--but they are also delicacies. The beer that comes with them is nice, too.

Comments

[Pamela]

"...he translated tsukidashi as an "obligatory delicacy." This phrase has a nice ring to it. And the fascinating concept of mandated delicious tidbits seems like a useful and positive approach to all cultural conundrums."

I agree with your sentiment. When we decide to involve ourselves in another culture, we're choosing to experience what it brings to our life... delicious tidbits will come for us to enjoy, but sometimes we will feel confused or even uncomfortable. Accepting and appreciating what comes along is key to partaking in another culture.

[MC]

Actually, that's Kate Elwood's statement not mine. And I'm not sure how I'd react in this situation, but I guess I'd just pay for it.

[Edward]

One of my first Izakaya experinces in Japan (which might have been with you - but might not have been), was at Shirokiya, possibly in Sengendai-nishi (where I lived). They charged me 400 yen for edamame, which I wouldn't have ordered, and because it came without me asking for it I also assumed that it was free. On finding out that it wasn't I felt rather ripped off, but being British I didn't cause a fuss. I'm not that keen on such charges, but I guess if you know the culture and can read the menu (or signs) and are forewarned, then I suppose you make the choice, yet as they say, ignorance of the law is no defense, so I suppose I'd side with the Japanese owner in this situation. I much prefer the Korean way of doing things though, completely the opposite with their free side dishes that you can have re-filled almost without limit.